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T-Minus 200 Days and Counting

14 Sep 2023 by KRAG

I’ve been working full-time since 1980 and in that time only once have I had a three-week vacation.

Like most workers my age, when I started working full-time, my time-off allowance (if I had any) would only cover sick days for the occasional cold or flu. Later, as I developed my career, I accrued enough hours to take a week off during the year, as well. About twenty years ago, I had sufficient seniority at my firm to take two-week vacations. Bliss! Two weeks was enough to spend a week powering down from the stress of the daily grind, and still have a week to really enjoy the time off. Eventually, that time-off allowance grew large enough that I was able to manage an entire three-week vacation. That was about ten years ago, and it was the only time in those forty-three full-time worker-bee years that I had such a stretch of time away from the work-a-day world.

Today, though, is a milestone, as I am 200 days away from a very long vacation: on April 1, 2024 I will retire from my firm, after working there for 33 years.

There’s a lot wrapped up in that because in addition to retiring soon, I’m also turning 65. As I mentioned last week, we’ve been quite busy this year preparing for the transition, and yesterday was a big one: we met with our Medicare Guy.

I’ll tell you at the outset, when it comes to Medicare, seek advice (and not just from friends and family). Seek advice from a professional. Find an independent broker* (i.e., someone who isn’t tied to a single insurance provider). Find someone who is responsive, experienced, and able to assist you in navigating the myriad of options available. I tried four different brokers before I found “our guy,” who will help us not only sign up, but will provide ongoing advice through the years as plans and policies change.

Yesterday, we had a two-hour meeting with him, and we came away from it frazzled, fuzzy-brained, deluged with information, but ultimately much more comfortable and confident that we can do this.

We still have a lot of work ahead of us, and many decisions to make, but we have greater knowledge now, knowledge that will help us make better decisions. And—more importantly, for our peace of mind—we also know that whatever decision we do make, it’s not written in stone. If it turns out the choice we made isn’t working or (crucially) if our situation changes, we can change our coverage options to accommodate.

All this is very boring, not at all artsy or creative, and has nothing to do with what I usually bang on about here, but wow, I cannot tell you how much it helped. And it’s a lesson that can be applied in other areas.

Asking for expert advice is not a sign of weakness or failure. It’s simply an acknowledgment that I don’t know everything (gasp!). Just as I ask a doctor about medical issues and don’t rely on whatever advice the TikTok algorithm sends my way, so too will I ask a professional about areas in which I have little or no expertise. This only makes sense.

So, that’s today’s totally boring and very un-entertaining post. I’ll get back to more creative stuff, hopefully soon.

k

* This advice holds true also for financial advisors. Pick an independent advisor, who isn’t beholden to a specific financial institution. They cost more, but the difference is you get totally unbiased assessments and recommendations, because they make their money from you, and not from some financial institution in the background.

Posted in Culture | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Introvert’s Calendar

07 Sep 2023 by KRAG

Bless me, Reader. It’s been three weeks since my last post.

Why? Because my calendar broke. Or more accurately, my introvert calendar broke.

What’s an introvert calendar? A calendar with nothing on it. Clean slate. Empty boxes with no fixed engagements. A fully functioning introvert calendar doesn’t mean I plan to do nothing. It means I have nothing planned. Big difference.

In this, my last year before retirement (T-minus 207 days and counting), there is much to do, and we’ve been doing it. Our calendar—especially during the past two months—has been chockablock with appointments, meetings, consultations, meet-n-greets, follow-ups, examinations, and procedures. We’ve seen doctors, dermatologists, radiologists, phlebotomists, dentists, and oral surgeons (yes, #32 strikes again). We’ve met face-to-face with financial advisors, Medicare consultants, contractors, plumbers, and suppliers. And, somehow, we also managed to squeeze in a birthday (hers), a 40th wedding anniversary (ours), and even a few social engagements.

For anyone it would be a serious course in Advanced Adulting, but for a serious introvert like me, it’s been all that whilst running a marathon, and to be perfectly frank, I simply haven’t had the spoons for anything creative. My brain has been filled with concerns, info, deadlines, questions, and fretfulness both reasonable and un-, so my gardening mode has been “maintenance,” my cooking has been pedestrian, my reading has been limited to emails and current events, and I’ve written little and woven even less.

However (thankfully) September’s schedule has a bit more white space than did July/August, and we’re both counting on October to remain featureless and calm as the doldrums, because come November, it’s a new round of activity, with another birthday (mine), the holiday season, some brief travel, and a bathroom renovation stuck in for good measure.

But here’s the thing I want to pass along: during this time of non-creative busy-ness, I chided myself for avoiding creative endeavors, or at least I did, until I actually looked back at the calendar (the broken calendar) and saw just how busy we’ve actually been. Creativity takes energy, and as an introvert, I need quiet to recharge my batteries, and I haven’t had any of that. All of my energy has gone into what was needed, leaving little (or none) for what was wanted.

So when you find that you haven’t gotten back to that quilting project or written that poem, when you find yourself exhausted at the end of the day with no energy for that new recipe or insufficient focus to get back to that book you’ve been reading, take a breath and admit two things: we all have only so much energy, and we have to prioritize demands on it.

Life is rarely constant; it much prefers cycles, rising and falling, waves and troughs. As long as we keep creativity on the To Do list, there will eventually be time for it.

Just keep it on the list.

k

Posted in Creativity, Culture | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments »

The Persistence of Music

17 Aug 2023 by KRAG

Walking my garden paths
fingers inspecting leaves
snips cutting spent blossoms
I hum a tune born
four centuries past
across continents
and seas

I wonder if the author
as he wove his tapestry
of notes and voices
imagined his music
would live beyond his life
persist through time
as empires rose
and fell

I wonder if he
as the ink dried on
quavers and triads
imagined his melodies
would grace the flower-scented air
of distant gardens
in a land
unknown

 

Posted in Creativity, Gardening, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Notes for the New Student

03 Aug 2023 by KRAG

do not put vowels
in the dishwasher
as they are made
of air and intention
and will likely melt

consonants are built
of sturdier stuff
and may go in
the upper rack

punctuation is best stored
in the garage with
nuts and bolts and
other fasteners

words once crafted may be
machine-washed and tumble-dried on low
but avoid fabric softener
unless the water is
especially hard

take time assembling
phrases and sentences
aligning them to the meridian
in a clean well-lighted place
free from excessive drafts

paragraphs benefit most
from a finish on the line
in springtime when the
breath of the waking world
begins to blow

non-fiction requires precision
and regular maintenance
so for peak performance
tune to 4° before
top dead center

patience is recommended
when assembling fiction
to ensure tight seams
and a proper fit

stir poetry
over low heat
until reduced
by half

 

k

 

Posted in Poetry, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

The Non-Event

27 Jul 2023 by KRAG

This weekend is a milestone for us, my wife and me. It’s our 40th wedding anniversary.

We’ve learned a few things over these four decades, but the most important lesson has been “How to Communicate.”

Case in point: Last night I delivered a critique based on bad information. I’d misunderstood something my wife had said, made a judgment based on that misunderstanding, and calmly supplied her with my ill-wrought criticism. Naturally, it didn’t go over too well. Thirty years ago this might have ended in a row. Twenty years ago, we’d probably have bickered and sniped. Ten years ago, there would have been an airing of our grievances, but we still would have ended up a bit bent out of shape.

Last night? After a brief period of quiet, my wife informed me of my mistake, correcting what I’d misinterpreted. In response, I agreed that I’d obviously gotten it wrong, retracted my statement, and thanked her for setting me straight. A non-event.

This improvement has not been a straight line progression, and some topics are obviously more fraught than others in this regard. The point, though, is that we’ve been working at it, via both introspection and dialogue, refining and adjusting our attitudes, our approaches, and our methods.

Relationships aren’t constant. They change with conditions and react to events. They strengthen. They become strained. Sometimes, they break. Sometimes, they should break. But with attention and communication, they almost always can be improved upon. The “more perfect Union” is a goal worth striving for.

k

Posted in Culture | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

It’s Broke

13 Jul 2023 by KRAG

it’s broke, so broke
I wake and feel
each day’s harsh edge
broke like torn tin
sharp and hungry
unforgiving

why so angry?
so harsh, so cruel
as if people
weren’t people
as if kindness
had no value

we want we want
it’s all we know
we take we take
it’s all we do
our circles shrink
collapse, darken
into a void

I don’t believe
in souls or gods
though I did once
a long time past
but then people
showed me their truth
and it seemed best
to believe them

Posted in Culture, Poetry | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments »

Taste Tests

06 Jul 2023 by KRAG

  • “Top 10 Reads for the Summer”
  • “The Best Games of 2023, Ranked”
  • “Twelve Items Every Pantry Must Have”
  • “5 Movies You Need to See”
  • “Seattle’s Best Restaurants”

There is no scarcity of voices eager to tell us what to do, what to like, what is good. “Listicles” abound, plastered with headlines shot through with words like “Best” and “Ranked.” But, “Best” according to whom? Who decides how these things are “Ranked?” Not me, for sure. Probably not you, either. But here’s the thing:

  • I’m enjoying a book my friend didn’t like.
  • The music I’m listening to is probably not on your playlists.
  • I loathe brie cheese.
  • A well-maintained and -manicured lawn is my idea of a crime against nature.

In other words, my tastes are different than yours, and yours are different than mine. And that’s okay.

My tastes in music, books, and cuisine aren’t better than anyone else’s. Yes, I was trained as a musician, have written novels, and have taught myself to be a better cook, but my personal likes and dislikes in these areas aren’t better. Obviously, they have been influenced by what I’ve learned, but they’re not better. “Better” presumes there is some Platonic ideal against which all others are found lacking, and while this might work for some objects, when it comes to things like sandwiches, it’s useless. There is no “best” sandwich. There’s just your favorite kind of sandwich. And there’s mine.

“Bestseller” doesn’t mean “best,” and it damned sure doesn’t mean you’ll like it. Neither do awards, kudos, upvotes, likes, retweets, or some stranger’s rankings.

Where there are quantifiable characteristics that can be evaluated, let’s compare and discuss them; we might learn something, see something we never saw before, and possibly modify our opinion. But when we’re dealing with the unquantifiable, when we’re talking about basic visceral likes and dislikes, we just need to chalk it up to personal preference.

I’ll enjoy what I enjoy, and you do the same. I won’t think less of you because you love brie cheese (though I may wonder how you manage it).

In short, I don’t want to yuck your yum.

k

Posted in Books, Culture, Gaming, Movies, Music, Television | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment »

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