flowered parasols
glow pale pink fire
in the springtime sun
their snowflake petals
drift like wounded butterflies
and kiss the rain-bright ground
Posted in Poetry, Seattle, Writing | Tagged cherry blossoms, cherry trees, modern poetry, UW Quad, yoshino | Leave a Comment »
This is my last weekend. Ever.
From tomorrow on, I will merely have days, each barely distinguishable from the next, one after the other, days that form weeks, which form months, which in turn form years, onward, until I eventually end. The reason? This coming week is my last week in the work-a-day world, and as of this Friday afternoon, I will have retired from my 33-year stint at my place of employment.
We could have a semantic disagreement about the definitions. Some will feel that the weekends will always be weekends, fenceposts on the calendar of life, regardless of what activities I might (or might not) use to fill my weekdays. Others will say that I will have nothing but weekends, back to back, or that I’ll be on one very long weekend.
These definitions and outlooks have merit, in that they make logical sense within their framework, but for me, they just don’t feel right. For me, a weekend is the break between work-weeks, the time when one kicks back, tackles larger projects, gets together with friends, runs errands. I’ve long been one of the “early birds” at work, starting at around 6 AM, and I’ve been in the habit of “front-loading” my work weeks, working longer days Monday thru Wednesday, so I can shave an hour or so off my Friday, which when combined give me a jump-start on the weekend, giving me more like two and a half days for each weekend. And, of course, there’s the weekly case of Sunday-Night-itis, usually creeping in sometime Sunday afternoon, that dread knowledge that the weekend is almost over and tomorrow it’s back to the grind. This is what a weekend is, to me.
And this is my last weekend. Ever.
I expect I will be relying on the wall calendar more, checking the “day of the week” sub-dial on my old wristwatch, and of course, peeking at the time/date display on my phone. Because even though I will no longer have weekends, per se, the date still matters, and the day of the week still matters (especially on Garbage Night).
I’m not sure how I’ll structure my time, going forward. Will I plan? Will I occupy myself with whatever catches my fancy? I’m curious to see what works and what doesn’t.
However it works out, I know it will work out. Forty years ago, my wife and I devised a plan, and for forty years we worked the plan, and now we’re at the finish line, ready to reap the plan’s reward.
Excitedly, I repeat my mantra: Onward.
k
Posted in Culture | Tagged quiet living, retirement, weekends | 1 Comment »
what if this
is heaven
where love rains down
on dreaming fields
to feed a soul’s desire
what if this
is hell
where acidic hates flood
shanty-clad plains
to burn flesh bone-deep
what if this
is both
where the ebb and flow
is merely a response
to our intention
k
Posted in Creativity, Culture, Poetry | Tagged creative writing, modern poetry, Poetry, Writing | Leave a Comment »
It struck me today that I need to change my perspective.
I am still thinking like an employed person. True, I still am employed, but not for much longer. In fact, I only have fifteen more days of employment; three business weeks before I am retired. Yet, when looking ahead and planning, I still, to a great extent, fall into the decades-long habit of planning around my workday responsibilities. Is it a school night? Then I can’t stay up ’til 2AM gaming with my crew. Am I on call? Then thank you, no, to the second whisky. How much will travel time eat into my week off?
Case in Point: Dune: Part Two.
For a long time, now, I have not enjoyed going to the cinema. Aside from the jarring juxtaposition of watching an adaptation of a Regency drama with distant gunfire and muffled explosions bleeding through from the multiplex theater next door, I find the experience over-loud, over-priced, and chock-a-block with people who are—more often than I care to admit—rude, inconsiderate, and entirely capable of ruining my movie-going experience.
So, though all my friends are raving about how good D:P2 is, I’ve been steeling myself for the long wait until it hits a streaming service and then comes out on disc (I’ll be watching the three movies annually, once I have them all at hand). I mean, why test my tolerance by braving the cinema along with the crowds that will also want to see it on any given weeknight or weekend day?
But today, I realized how silly and outdated that perspective is. In three weeks, I’ll be retired. Next month, there’s no reason I can’t’t go to the cinema mid-week, midday (along with all the other old folks). I might even get a senior discount. I’ll still have to contend with SFX sound bleeding in from the theater next door, but I’m thinking that won’t be as big an issue with D:P2 as it might otherwise be.
To be honest, I’ve missed the cinema experience, at least the way it used to be. My sister and I, ages ago, went in a gang to a “Weekend of Epics” in Petaluma, where we saw, back to back: The Bible, Ben-Hur, Cleopatra, and Lawrence of Arabia. It was an all-day event, over thirteen hours of screen time (plus intermissions and meal breaks). And it was a gas, because the only people in attendance were movie nerds who were totally into the immersion of watching old movies in a darkened theater. No teens on dates. No young couples with crying babies. Just folks who were willing and able to devote nearly sixteen straight hours to a movie-going experience.
I don’t ever expect to capture that feeling again, but if there’s even a chance of feeling a fraction of that magic, I’ll risk the disappointment.
k
Posted in Culture, Movies | Tagged cinema, life changes, Movies, retirement | 11 Comments »
I find myself in a liminal space, straddling one of modern life’s boundaries, not half-in/half-out, but between and neither, caught mid-transformation.
With three weeks to go until my retirement, I’m not really working at work, but I’m also not really not working. Not quite working; not quite retired. Every day feels like Thursday (even today, a Friday), and by that I mean that each day feels like the weekend is about to start, but isn’t quite ready to throw the switch. Every day is Weekend Eve Eve.
At work, management is purposefully not giving me anything to do (well, nothing that can’t be done in an hour, anyway)—a bit of a gift after 33 years with the company—so I’m doing a lot of ho-humming during my work day. My replacement is making the transition from her old team to ours, and I will be able to assist in that, but she’s actually a former member of our team who is returning to the fold, so there’s little with which she’ll need my specific assistance.
As for retirement readiness, the requisite forms have been filled out/submitted/received, our new insurance is ready to take over, our many ducks are waiting patiently in their row.
All is in readiness.
Yet, I am anxious. Nervous. Jittery. At loose ends. Unable to focus. Wanting to start, but without the time to do so.
The weather has not helped. Here in Seattle, spring started off early but quickly realized it forgot something on the stove and had to run home, giving winter another month to hang around and raid the fridge. It’s as if my world is holding its breath.
And yet, all around me, furious activity. Kids play in the street, dogs get walked. Orders are delivered, trash is collected. Speeches are made and votes are cast. Wars and negotiations drag on. Babies are being born, changing couples into parents, parents into grandparents.
Yet, here I am in my chrysalis, waiting to emerge.
When I do, what will I be?
k
Posted in Culture, Seattle | Tagged anticipation, retirement, work-life balance | 1 Comment »
the percussive exuberance
of K-drama dialogue
drifts down the darkened hall
a cryptic lullaby in
rollercoaster tones
leading me past
anxious abstraction
to plush midnight
Posted in Creativity, Culture, Poetry | Tagged Creativity, K-drama, modern poetry, Poetry, quiet living, retirement | Leave a Comment »
From the Old Man Shouts Into the Wind files, Entry #4492.
[Entry Begins]
A few years ago I received an invitation to be interviewed on a podcast. It wasn’t a big-deal podcast, just a couple of guys who nattered on about books, but I’d never done an audio interview (my previous ones had all be text-based for print publications), so I responded and we began to set it up. It didn’t take long for me to realize that this was not going to be an “interview” interview, but something entirely different.
My first clue came when I asked which of my books they wanted to discuss (I had two series and one standalone novel at the time). The answer—and I’m paraphrasing here—was, “Oh, we don’t know anything about any of your books.” In essence, it was not an interview, but a time slot in which I could hold forth and flog my books.
Some people are good at this type of thing. Some people are really good at it. And good for them! It’s a valuable skill in this “Look at Me!” age of influencers and TikTok stars, where publishers (if you are lucky enough to have one) put little (if any) money into marketing non-premium titles, and most of the promotional setup and execution has to be done by the author.
Sadly, I am not one of those people. I am so definitely not one of them, that I decided not to participate. I’m sure that podcast audience got along just fine.
I relate this anecdote as prologue, because from that day to this I have noticed a distinct trend in interviewing style, and it’s one that (in my opinion) severely diminishes the form. It’s what I call the “Talkabout” style.
At its heart, an interview is a conversation. Interviewer asks a question and Interviewee responds. This leads to another question and another response. Interviewer at some point will switch to another topic, and they begin anew. This question and response interplay can lead to deeper insights, as the interviewer builds on Answer #1 in forming Question #2, exploring the topic more fully. This technique works especially well in adversarial interviews, where it drifts from the conversational toward a more debate-like vibe, and the questioner can drill down into responder’s answers.
The “Talkabout” style, on the other hand, is not a conversation; it’s performance on demand. The host (not “interviewer”) greets the guest and says, “Talk about your latest [insert topic element here].” There is no question. There is no “If you would” or “Please.” It’s merely a time slot in which the guest can hold forth, a command behind a conversational facade. It is an “interview-shaped object.” Once the guest has finished talking about the thing, there is no follow-up question; instead, the host gives their opinion of the guest’s opinion or merely regurgitates what the guest delivered using different words. This is usually followed by another “talk about” demand. It is not an interview.
There are times when an interviewer will ask the guest to explain something to the audience (a movie’s premise, the context of an essay, a brief history of a political situation, etc.) and this is acceptable (to me) because context is important, and it’s better if it is the guest/expert who provides that perspective. After that, though, an interviewer will return to questions, whereas the “talkabout” host will not.
I know this is not likely to change, primarily because of the way most of us consume news and opinion, i.e., it tiny tiny bites. Many don’t read past the headlines, and certainly won’t read past Question/Answer #1 to get the deeper insight of Question/Answer #2. I also know that my personal sensibilities are outdated, and that while I bristle at what I perceive as a lazy, sloppy, borderline rude method to elicit information without breaking the surface tension of any given topic, it is for others perfectly acceptable.
But maybe some will read this, see something they hadn’t noticed before, and seek out sources that provide a deeper analysis or insight into a given question.
An interview is only as good as the interviewer, and just as the ability to write does not make us all good writers, so too, the ability to speak does not make us all good interviewers. For my part, I’ll seek out the person who asks a question, and then another, and then another, diving deeper each time into the why or the how of a topic. It takes more time, yes, but if I want to understand rather than merely parrot, it is incumbent upon me to spend it.
[Entry Ends]
Posted in Culture, Politics, Television | Tagged interview, interview style, podcasts, pundits, social norms | Leave a Comment »
