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Most of my friends know that I my musical tastes, while wide-ranging, are rather specific. High on my priority list is musical complexity. I believe this comes from my having spent decades playing in symphonies and orchestras where deep instrumentation and complex forms are more prevalent. For a similar reason, lyrics are low on my list; this is probably because, after spending much of my life sitting in the midst of a hundred musicians, my ear has been trained to hear everything, and I find it exceptionally difficult to pick out the lyrics of songs. In fact, there have been songs that I liked quite well until I learned the lyrics.

As a result, I do not listen to a lot of popular music. The artists that do make it onto my regular rotation have broken through my—I’ll be honest, here—my prejudices. Perhaps it was their virtuosity or the timbre of their voice or the structure of their songs. Often the instrumentation alone will get my attention, and in some cases, it actually is the lyrics that capture me.

In order to stay on my rotation, through, a pop song has to make me feel something special. Joy, power, hope, memories of love, longing, serenity, grief, anger, a hunger for justice, the strength of true friendship. Something. A song must strike a resonant chord within me

That’s a lot of boxes for a song to tick. Probably an unfair amount of boxes. It’s not as though I actively dislike most songs; far from it, in fact. It’s just that not many hit me strongly enough to make me sit up, take note, and go in search of more.

Today, one did just that. It is unusual in many ways. It has a structure that goes well beyond the ABACAB verse/chorus/bridge structure common to pop songs. It incorporates recitative and arioso components, the latter soaring alone or riding atop a percussive ostinato, and the whole is orchestrated with strings, winds, and keyboard. In fact, I’d have to say that it doesn’t even really have a melody, at least nothing you walk away whistling, but rather it moves from motif to motif (I counted at least seven distinct forms). Most importantly, though, and for reasons I couldn’t fathom in the moment, it filled me with a building sense of hope, joy, and release.

That’s a lot of boxes ticked.

It punched right through my barriers, so much so that I went in search of the artist, listened more closely to the lyrics, and checked out a few other titles. I listened to it as a song, watched a stage performance of it, and watched the official music video of it.

Now, I am not gushing over this song because I think you will have a similar reaction. Based on past experience of sharing my faves with friends, I can predict that most likely you will not like it, certainly not as much or for the reasons that I do.

But in this current climate of dread and doom, where it’s difficult to go even two hours without some “breaking news” assaulting us with reports designed to enrage and shock us, I heartily recommend turning off the news and turning on some music.

Find the song that ticks your boxes, whatever they may be. Spend some time with music. You can thank me later.

 

And now, for the curious:

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Trigger Warning: The following might be considered “cultural appropriation adjacent.” (Whatever that means.)

Caveat #1: I was born in California, and have never lived in the American South.

Caveat #2: I have not made a study of this.

(more…)

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three shots, maybe four
from her ‘I’m not mad at you’
to his ‘fucking bitch’

five shots, maybe ten
to go from ‘Are you okay?”
to oblivion

two deaths plus six more
this winter of ’26
merely a month old

Cáceras, Campos,
Díaz, La, Good, Yáñez-Cruz,
Domíngues, Pretti

remember their names
that their dreams and hopes and joys
are not forgotten

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Yes, I’m rather behind the curve on this, as Ubisoft’s game, Avatar: Frontiers of Pandora, was released late in 2023; since I no longer have a gaming posse, I’m exploring some of the open world solo games that I missed in recent years. And yes, I’ve been critical of the Avatar movie franchise (probably here, but definitely elsewhere), ever since seeing the first Avatar movie in theater back in 2009; though the films are undeniably gorgeous and technological marvels, I’ve not warmed to their plots, writing, or acting.

With those caveats laid bare, you might expect me to be lukewarm on this title. Nope. I loved it. Here’s why.

I just finished the main story, which I did not complete in a rush. I took my own sweet time, sticking mostly with the main quest-line, but enjoying the many side quests as well. I took my time because, unlike many games I’ve played since retiring last April, this game world was a real pleasure to explore. Moreover, it felt like a cohesive world, a world that made sense despite being complex and intricate, where the flora and fauna were reflective of the various biomes had micro-biomes, and where the sub-cultures of the Na’vi had likewise tailored themselves to interact best with their environment, be it forest, mountains, or plains.

The goal of the game is simple: save the world from rapacious invaders (e.g., humans). We play the game as one of the Na’vi, the tall, blue-skinned people who live in their pre-industrial idyll where they live in close harmony with the ecosystems of their moon, Pandora. Humans have arrived and, holding true to their historical nature, use their advanced technology to exploit the moon’s resources, regardless of the damage to the ecology or to the native inhabitants. Sound familiar? Yeah. Pretty much why I didn’t care for the movies.

However, where the movies do little more than put a glossy coat of paint on analogues of [insert name of indigenous people here], the game has more elbow room to flesh out the cultures of the Na’vi clans. Each sub-culture has art and rituals that are tied to the unique nature that surrounds them, and while yes, there are similarities between Terran and Na’vi cultures, it doesn’t feel like a direct lift from one to the other. The Zeswa, for instance, are a nomadic clan that wander the Upper Plains, but they are not hunters; rather, they are herdsfolk, protecting the massive zakru—large animals that provide a milk-based diet—as the beasts migrate across the landscape. Everything from art to tradition to recipes to clothing is reflective of the open steppes and the winds that cross them.

From a gameplay standpoint, it’s a smooth and polished product. The option to switch between first-person and third-person viewpoint is a big deal; it’s seamless and on-the-fly, and trust me, there are situations where first-person is what you want, but when I was running through the forest, leaping from stone to massive willow trunk, it was third-person I wanted. Combat is flexible, though geared more toward ranged weaponry and stealth than melee. And as you have more weapon options than quick-slots to choose from, you’ll definitely find yourself developing a style. The skill advancement system is simple, specifically in that you do not have to choose a “tree” to devote your skill points toward. Sure, at the beginning, you’ll pick what you feel is important, but by game’s end, you’ll have more than enough points to acquire every skill on every tree. And as for crafting, the game makes it easy to add ammunition on the fly, but requires more attention when crafting gear or weaponry, an exercise that you can make as easy or difficult as you choose. as some designs require very specific items of a very high quality; you may not need that high-end heavy bow, but ooooh, wouldn’t it be nice?

But where I think this game really shines is in the story line. Much like my other Top Five game, Horizon: Zero Dawn, this game weaves a story that has twists and turns, betrayals and unexpected alliances. Not all humans are bad, not all Na’vi are good, and in the course of the main quest-line we encounter politics and power plays and a real search for self and growth. And while the overarching impetus can be boiled down to “eco-warrior vs industrialist,” there are some good interpersonal dramas that are well-crafted and excellently timed. The use of cut-scenes is limited but well executed.

Small things, too, pleased me about this game. There’s a fairly big cast of NPCs, but unlike some other studios (cough-cough-Bethesda-cough), each one I talked to had a unique facial structure made even more distinct by age, clothing, decoration, and the excellent work of the voice actors. Traveling the world, I began to learn what plants and animals were nearby by their sounds. Even the quality of light was different, depending on the terrain, the biome, the weather, and the time of day. And the voice work was top-notch. One of my pet peeves about sci-fi is the indiscriminate use of meaningless apostrophes in alien names, but here—as in Na’vi and Ri’nela, the people and one of the characters—the voice actors use those apostrophes as glottal stops (like the apostrophe in Hawai’i or in the break in the phrase “uh-oh”). Little things, but they all help bolster the realism of the world.

It is not a perfect game. It has glitches. It has a few bugs. I got “clipped” into inescapable areas a few times (I tend to explore . . . a lot), but a quick Fast Travel sorted that out. There were times when the foliage would flicker, usually when the sun was low in the sky or the clouds began to gather. There were two spots where a side-quest refused to start, but a quick visit to Reddit helped me get past the bugs. And, after a few days’ worth of reclaiming drill sites and coming across RDA patrols, I saw the patterns that allowed me to game these small encounters. To be honest, though, these were not even annoyances, and were much less prevalent here. Maybe it’s a good thing, waiting two years to start a game. Hehe.

Mostly, though, it is just a gorgeous game world. Once I got my ikran (one of the quasi-mini-dragons one can fly around) and was able to bond with a direhorse (great for the plains), I often eschewed all Fast Travel in favor of taking the scenic route. I expect you will, too.

I’m about to embark on the two DLCs that came out a while ago, and there’s a new one—From the Ashes—released to coincide with the third movie in the franchise. I’ll wait for the movie to hit a streaming channel, but in all likelihood I’ll buy the expansion.

k

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I am a white middle-class sixty-something hetero male living in America. I am arguably the possessor of the highest level of entitlement in the less-than-billionaire world. I have lived my life in two of the bluest of blue demographic regions in the nation. I have never known any discrimination beyond those deserved by my own flaws.

I grew up, though, during an era of intense racial strife. My family and teachers brought the concept of civil rights into my young life. I learned that our nation had a history of treating people differently, based on how they looked. I learned that, though I did not personally feel the effects of prejudice, others in the world definitely did. I learned that the presumptions made about me were not necessarily made of others, if their skin was darker than mine, if their religion was different than mine.

And I was asked, did that seem fair?

It did not.

As I grew older, I discovered that it didn’t even matter if our skin was pale. If you were a woman, you could be treated differently, also as “less than.” Having been schooled by women, having been raised by women, this also did not seem fair.

But while I was able, as a teen ensconced in my bluish-ivory tower, to intellectualize all of this and say “Oh, yes, that is bad,” and, “That is wrong and we should work to fix that,” it took many more years before I realized that this unfairness, this prejudice, this smoldering (if not outright) racism and sexism, this misogyny, this antisemitism, this idea that pale skin imbued one with an inherent supremacy, imposed a level of stress and daily anxiety the like of which I had no concept. I had no idea what it was like to fear men on the street. I had no idea of what it was like for someone to take one look at me and decide my worth, my value, my humanity.

I did learn of it, though. It wasn’t a difficult assignment. All I had to do was open my eyes and pay attention for a brief period, because it was all there, easy to see if you simply looked around.

These days, though, it’s even easier to see. Now, you have to actively look away in order not to see it.

And many of us are doing just that.

If you aren’t, though … if you are paying attention and watching what is going on and seeing what is happening out there, in our nation, in our name, I ask you this:

Be extra kind. Take care to take care of those around you, be they neighbors or strangers or just folks in the checkout line at the grocer’s. People are on edge, and tempers are near the breaking point. None of us know what the person next to us in line has g0ne through today, or this week, or this month. They might be in pain, scared, angry as hell, and just barely holding it in.

It’s fucking chaos out there. So we need to be kind to one another. Just so we can all see tomorrow.

Together.

k

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Xbox is at a crossroads, and one major speed bump in their path seems to involve their Game Pass subscription service. Two major price increases over the past few years have caused many to reevaluate our priorities. Myself included.

To refresh memories: I’m a sixty-something Boomer who plays video games. I’ve been a consistent Xbox player, and partook in regular multiplayer sessions with my Saturday Night Massacre Posse for about twenty years … until my retirement last year. I do have a PS4 console, because … Horizon Zero Dawn … but Sony was never been my gaming “home.” Rather, I was a long-time Xbox Gold membership holder and, when it became cost-effective, a Game Pass and then Game Pass Ultimate subscriber.

Even when the SNM Posse was active (so named, because that was when my day-shift gaming window overlapped with my fellows’ graveyard shift availability), we generally played only a few games on the regular. Rainbow Six, Gears of War, Borderlands, Destiny, Ghost Recon, Halo, Sniper Elite—primarily FPS or TPS style titles—these were our Go-To games, played predominantly in co-op mode (we weren’t an overly competitive posse). Sure, we’d feather in the occasional platformer or isometric or soulslike title, but they came and, after a few months, they went. And we played hard. We’d start after dinner and would go late/early, often until 0300 hrs. It was a stretch for me, but worth it, as the banter alone (plus the challenge of keeping up with my much younger fellows) was great fun.

Post-retirement, though, the SNM Posse just dissolved. Since I’m not one for playing with strangers—I can’t keep up with twenty-something’s twitch-muscle reaction times, and won’t put up with the crude and too-often offensive language that passes as “repartee”—this meant that my need for a multiplayer service had come to an end. Yet, Game Pass Ultimate offered so many games, including some “Day One” titles I knew I’d enjoy (Borderlands 4 and Outer Worlds 2, to name a couple of recent additions), so I continued with my subscription.

Then, this fall, Microsoft jacked up the Game Pass Ultimate subscription rate by 50%, from $20/month to $30/month, or $360/year (what? you want a discount for paying for a whole year in advance? who do you think we are? HBO? LOL!).

As outlined above, I do not burn through video game titles. I don’t play a game for a few hundred hours in a single month and then move on to the next shiny new title. I don’t consume eight, twelve, twenty titles in a given year. Even if I include the small indie titles I play, I might go through six games in a calendar year. Is that worth $360/year? Even with the now-standard $70 price for a Day One AAA game, is it worth it?

Nope. It ain’t. And I suspect a lot of gamers are working this math the same way I have.

I will probably play three, at most four AAA titles in a year, and if I wait a bit, I’ll pay a discounted portion of that $70 list price. I can pick up a handful of indie games at anywhere from $5 to $15, if they get good reviews and the gameplay matches my likes. I still have my Xbox account, should multiplayer opportunities arise, but I’m not depending on it. There are so many older RPG/FPS/TPS titles out there, games I’ve never even tried, there’s no reason to pay such an exorbitant subscription price (especially if I have to save up for a new console!).

Video games used to be a unifying activity. It was something that bridged the age gap between myself and the younger folks I knew. With people struggling to make rent and buy groceries, and with the costs of gaming increasing by 20, 50, 60%, it’s losing its broad-based demographic in favor of a more affluent customer base.

Sometimes I wonder if Microsoft really gets gaming.

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don’t give in to the maelstrom’s song
the downward spiral toward denial
of what your bones know is righteous or wrong

don’t let the harmonies that sing in your blood
go quiet and numb, muffled and choked
by the unfeeling actions of criminal hearts

there’s so much so much this onrushing tide
of gleeful cruelty and polished-brass venality that
to think of nothing to jettison hope can seem the softer path

but love dies when hearts go silent
and despair takes root when tears dry up
numbness saves no one not others not us

so let the feelings come seek them out
lean in and swim with the building wave
shout out rise up and take the beachhead

for this is a fight we dare not lose

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