Kurt R.A. Giambastiani

I’ve lost friends because of this election. Ironically, none were from the “red” contingent; losses came from my own “blue” cohort. Some partings were my choice. Others were silent retreats taken by the other party, discovered well after the fact. Either way, the losses were not a surprise, given the level of internecine warfare exhibited during the long, arduous run-up.

In the aftermath, though, as a middle-class white male, various outlets inform me that my feelings, my general shock over the outcome, and my actions of support are (depending on the source of the commentary) either embarrassing, ridiculous, ignorant, evidence of white privilege, just plain whiny, mansplaining, or other terms from a long string of unflattering, shameful attributes.

And all this comes from the left. The right, well, when they’re not enjoying the spectacle of progressives tearing at each others’ throats, they’re just gloating. And who wouldn’t, given the massive upset victory they achieved?

Raised during the civil rights and women’s liberation movements, I’ve tried all my life to treat everyone equally. I’ve examined every prejudicial impulse I’ve ever had, supported movements aimed at creating equal opportunity, encouraged empathy and heightened awareness of social issues, argued for equal treatment in all aspects of modern life, spoken out against bigotry and prejudicial hatred, donated to charities and voted for candidates whose positions bolster these goals. It’s not much, compared with the greater activism of others, but it isn’t nothing.

But if the internet has taught me anything, it’s that no matter how well-intentioned I am, no matter how inclusive and empathetic I strive to be, there will always be plenty who are eager to shame me or blame me or carp at me for my failures (perceived or real).

OK. Fine. But know this.

I can’t do nothing. I can’t ignore what’s happening around this country.

I’m still going to treat people equally. I’m still going to argue for equal treatment under the law, against discrimination, and for helping the less fortunate. I’m still going to practice empathy, listen to the truth of those oppressed, encourage people to think a little less of themselves and a little more about others, and try to make things a little better every day.

I will not do this out of a sense of patrician duty or as a way of puffing up my own ego. I will do it because I know that, but for a few genetic traits or whims of fate, I could be in exactly the same spot as are those who today suffer the cruelty of prejudice and bigotry. I could be the target, the scapegoat, the other. I could be the one who is beaten, spit upon, ousted, hated, killed. And I know that, were I in that position, I could not fix it alone. I know that I would need allies.

I will get things wrong. I will still be ignorant of many aspects of life as a minority. Some may find my actions embarrassing or meaningless. Some may not even want me as an ally.

I’m hoping that some folks will.

One voice may not be heard above the storm, but together, we can make the earth tremble.

k