This weekend is a milestone for us, my wife and me. It’s our 40th wedding anniversary.
We’ve learned a few things over these four decades, but the most important lesson has been “How to Communicate.”
Case in point: Last night I delivered a critique based on bad information. I’d misunderstood something my wife had said, made a judgment based on that misunderstanding, and calmly supplied her with my ill-wrought criticism. Naturally, it didn’t go over too well. Thirty years ago this might have ended in a row. Twenty years ago, we’d probably have bickered and sniped. Ten years ago, there would have been an airing of our grievances, but we still would have ended up a bit bent out of shape.
Last night? After a brief period of quiet, my wife informed me of my mistake, correcting what I’d misinterpreted. In response, I agreed that I’d obviously gotten it wrong, retracted my statement, and thanked her for setting me straight. A non-event.
This improvement has not been a straight line progression, and some topics are obviously more fraught than others in this regard. The point, though, is that we’ve been working at it, via both introspection and dialogue, refining and adjusting our attitudes, our approaches, and our methods.
Relationships aren’t constant. They change with conditions and react to events. They strengthen. They become strained. Sometimes, they break. Sometimes, they should break. But with attention and communication, they almost always can be improved upon. The “more perfect Union” is a goal worth striving for.
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This Tuesday last, my wife and I celebrated our thirty-sixth wedding anniversary. While we definitely hit some 
Kurt R.A. Giambastiani 