Kurt R.A. Giambastiani

Renowned author Dan Brown has a new book, and it is therefore open season for critics, professional and amateur alike.

But I’m going to leave that to others, especially Michael Deacon of the Daily Telegraph, who did it better than anyone in his pastiche of the Brownian “style.” Really, go read it, but don’t drink coffee while you do so. And don’t pass by the top comments, either, one of which gives us the neologism “blort”–the perfect one-word replacement for “spit take.” If you have time, also check out the Telegraph’s “20 Worst Sentences from Dan Brown.”

The pastiche is easily the funniest piece this side of Chuck Lorre’s vanity cards. Reading it aloud reminded me of similar sessions with “The Eye of Argon” and Atlanta Nights by Travis Tea. (If you’ve never heard of the latter, let me know and I’ll let you in on the history.) The “20 Worst” will make you simultaneously laugh and cry that such sentences make it into a bestselling novel.

But as I said, I’m not going to dogpile on renowned author Dan Brown. Why? (more…)

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