Is writing keeping me from writing?
I did not start this blog as a marketing tool. Good thing, too. I experience enough failures in my life without creating more of my own.
No, I started this blog as a writing tool. At a time when I was struggling to find the time and mental discipline to write another novel, I figured a blog would be a good tool to keep me writing on a regular basis.
And it worked. I have kept writing. Regularly.
But, has it kept me from writing?
I know that sounds stupid, but let me put it this way: Have my self-imposed blog writing “responsibilities” prevented me from working on my novel?
Taking a dispassionate, purely quantifiable view, the answer is Yes.
The standard novel is about 80,000 words long. Some are longer (especially sf/f, like my previous novels which average around 110k words), and some are shorter. A broad overview of novels over the years puts the average at about 65k, but 80-90k is a pretty standard length.
Now, how many words have I written since starting this blog?
My non-poetical posts average around 700 words, and account for about 90% of my blog output. My poetical/vignette posts–about 10%–average 120 words or so. In the past three years, I’ve published over 600 blog posts. Doing the math…
That’s nearly 400,000 words.
That’s four frakking novels–even more if we use the industry or historical averages.
Four novels!
Obviously, this blog is keeping me from writing my novel.
To be fair, blogging duties aren’t the only factor that’s contributed to my current “fallow” period. Life has been…challenging. Deaths, illnesses, work woes, and life events…it’s been a roller-coaster these past three years, and I haven’t felt either strong enough physically or quiet enough in my mind to gather the needed fortitude to knuckle down and get to work.
But blogging hasn’t helped.
Except when it has.
Even when I haven’t had the discipline to work on my novel, I have been able to force myself to post on the blog, and I know I’ve learned from it. The short “poetical” posts have been especially useful, from a writing standpoint, giving me freedom to experiment with styles and voices, while the longer essays have been a training ground for focus and conciseness.
The act of writing is what keeps me thinking like a writer, not what I’m writing.
Moving forward, though…what to do? To blog or not to blog?
I believe I’ll continue on with posts here, but I’ll be doing so with a fresh perspective, and once I do muster the gumption to begin anew my current magnum opus, I may cut back here to accommodate.
Time will tell.
k
[…] « To Blog or Not to Blog […]
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1. It sort of reminds me of when I was in college — I’d always loved reading, but when I was in school I’d only read the required textbooks. I didn’t start reading again “for fun” until after graduation.
2. I’d assume that your books require a great deal more time and crafting per word than the blog posts — perhaps 10x as much per word as compared to your blog posts? So.. maybe you’ve only punted .25 books worth of product!
(Heh.)
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The level of research and editing for fiction is, yes, a huge component that doesn’t have to go into most blog posts. I do research my posts and I do edit them, but not as closely or assiduously a I do for my fiction. Still, though, that might only get it down to three novels equivalent.
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Boy! I’m not alone, but I already knew that. The past two years saw the engine glide into idle, no longer churning out new stuff. That took some getting used to – dealing with the guilt feeling of becoming non-productive. Then I said to myself, you’re retired you idiot! Relax! So I did. Took some doing. So Kurt? Take it easy. It’s OK.
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Alas, if it were only so easy. I was raised with the “Kennedy” mentality–one must always be active and productive. Relax? What’s the goal? What’s the point?
I know what you mean and I’m working on it, trying to smash down those feelings of guilt when I choose to just sit and go Zen, but it’s an uphill battle. I’m making progress, though. 😉
This period is much like the period when I switched from music to writing. I’d defined myself as a musician for so long, it was part of my identity, and when I gave it up to concentrate on writing (an unproven prospect, at that point), I had a crisis of self. This time, it’s not exactly voluntary, which makes it both easier and harder.
–k
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I have fought with this one, myself, but I am also lifelong journaler, as well as a poet and sometimes essayist. When I quit writing my journal/blog/morning pages, on a regular basis, I find that I cannot force myself to other writing, either. Toward the end of my 30-year freelance writing and editing career, as I started to tire and had to struggle to get through my contract work, I quit journaling and mostly quit writing poetry as a result. Then I had to stop the business stuff, also, and retire (at 5 months shy of the appropriate age).
For me, at least, the words spigot is either on or off. I won’t go back to commercial work (I turn 70, next year), but the daily non-pressured journaling has resulted in almost daily non-pressured but focused creative writing, as well. I am back to being not self-conscious about writing or what I write. The occasional interactions with readers remind me that I am…enjoying the conversations, but at its most basic, I am writing because I am one who writes.
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You’ve tapped a nerve. I intend to continue blogging, as it is a good discipline to practice my writing skills, but it is contributing to the lack of effort on my next full-length book. However, given what’s going on in my life, I fear that if I stopped blogging, I would stop writing altogether. I’m not giving up!
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Prezackly.
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