Kurt R.A. Giambastiani

No, I’m not talking about some grunge-infused radical splinter sect. I’m talking about weathermen, in Seattle. Okay, okay…meteorologists in Seattle. (Doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it? Let’s go with “weather-peeps” instead, shall we?)

I am firmly convinced that Seattle is where they send weather-peeps that have misbehaved. Take, for example, the opening for this weekend’s forecast from the KOMO News weather page:

July weather in Western Washington is usually quite straightforward. Not so this weekend: Our weather the next several days will be quite complex.

What follows is a lengthy description of upper-level lows and low-level highs, with predictions of sun, clouds, rain, thunder, and lightning, unless of course you happen to be on the coast, where there will be lightning, thunder, rain, clouds, and sun. Seems to me, if the weather-peeps need to hedge their bets like this, they should just be honest and say:

If you want to know what the weather is going to do, look outside.

k