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Posts Tagged ‘editing’

It’s Beyond My Control

Posted in Writing, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on 18 Mar 2013| 4 Comments »

A friend of mine, Barb Hendee, is half of that incredible tag-team author-pair that has brought you The Noble Dead Saga and many other novels and series.

Well, Barb has a blog, and she often posts articles of a writerly nature. While all of her articles are good, her most recent article made me choke on my coffee and laugh out loud.

For the uninitiated, it’s as easy to suppose that all published authors are fabulously wealthy as it is to assume we have total control over the publication of our books. Hardcover or softcover? Price point? Cover art?

None of these are within an author’s control, once you sign that contract. I’ve even had the title of some books changed without either my consultation or assent. Go ahead. Try to guess which ones.

Meanwhile, go check out Barb’s article on the topic.

k

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The Ten Percent Solution

Posted in Writing, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on 08 Mar 2013| 4 Comments »

Back in my “The View from Here” series, I addressed one common problem I called “Wiggle Words.” I cannot now remember where I came up with the phrase–perhaps I made it up; I’ve been known to invent a thing or two on my own–but I absolutely remember where I first encountered the concept.

Ken Rand’s The 10% Solution is one of the best how-to-write books on my shelf. It is short, clear, and has more bang-for-buck within its covers than most books 4 times its length. Ken has had a long career in fiction and non-fiction both, from novels and short stories to ad-copy, news reports, and PR work. In brief: Ken knows writing.

And this book is pure gold. I first read it about fifteen years ago, and I came away from it with two major lessons under my belt. (more…)

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The View from Here – Cast in Stone – Final

Posted in Writing, tagged , , , , , , , on 26 Feb 2013| 4 Comments »

Kurt R.A. GiambastianiDrum roll, please….

This is the final version, rewritten top to bottom. As I was typing it all in from my handwritten rewrite (which you can win, by commenting on the “Contest” post before Friday), I found it interesting to have the original version open in a side-by-side window. When you look at them both, everything from the  original version is here in this final, but it all (at least to my mind) has more depth, and the characters’ actions seem more thought out. Getting inside a character’s head is something I did not know how to do, twenty years ago (among other things!)

This has been a very educational trip, for me. Back when I started this series, I was writing down things that I’ve learned but never put into words. And, coming face-to-face with my former self, I could see all the things that editors were saying to me over and over. I never had a “light bulb” moment regarding these errors. Learning how to write, becoming a better writer, is an accretive process, not a sprint from one epiphany to another. You might “get” the concept in a flash, but learning how to do it takes time and practice.

Anyway, I hope you’ve found it as enlightening as I have, and now, the big reveal…

(more…)

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The View from Here – Cast in Stone – 1st Edit

Posted in Writing, tagged , , , , , , on 19 Feb 2013| Leave a Comment »

Kurt R.A. Giambastiani

This edit only addresses the items highlighted in the original, and while I feel it is an improved version, there are still other problems–some of those “macro” level problems of the type I mentioned way back when I started this series. Problems like, say what? a new character halfway through a short story? Problems like, it’s just a bit dry and non-descript in places; too bland and banal. Problems like, it’s got a little too much sci-fi gimcrackery around the edges.

I’ll address these issues in a final rewrite, but for now, feel free to read and compare this to the original version.

(more…)

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The View from Here – Cast in Stone – Original

Posted in Writing, tagged , , , , , , on 19 Feb 2013| 6 Comments »

Kurt R.A. Giambastiani

Here is the original version of “Cast in Stone,” a trunk story I wrote about 20 years ago (Good lord, has it been that long?) If you missed the history of this piece, go read the Preamble to this edit-fest.

And to remind you of the color codes for each error type:

  • Telling, not showing
  • Clunky phrasing/naming names
  • Exposition
  • Bad metaphors/similes/adjectives
  • Wiggle words
  • Echoes

(more…)

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The View from Here – Cast in Stone – Preamble

Posted in Writing, tagged , , , , , , , , on 18 Feb 2013| 2 Comments »

Kurt R.A. GiambastianiMy story, “Cast in Stone,” was written in the early ’90s, and is probably the third or fourth story I ever wrote. I wrote it for a themed anthology about “deaders,” brain-dead humans who were animated via software to become servants and workers. The anthology accepted the story, but the money fell through and it was never published.

I then submitted the story to OMNI, back when OMNI was (a) a real magazine and (b) still publishing fiction under the incomparable editorial hand of Ellen Datlow. One of Ms. Datlow’s assistant editors, Robert K.J. Killheffer, read the story, and liked it enough to take the extraordinary step of leading me through several rewrites. (I have to say, after boiler-plate/check-list rejection letters, it was a thrill to get a letter for a rewrite!) He provided me with guidance each time through, suggesting changes in everything from the title (original title: “Statuesque Revisions”…ick) to structure and style.

We went through about four iterations, if memory serves, with Rob sending me up two pages or so of typewritten comments, and me improving the story each time. In the end, the story was still rejected, but this all tells you how much work went into the version I present to you here.

And even with all that editing, all that mentorship, it still has so many problems that I wince to read parts of it.

So, what I will be presenting here is “Cast in Stone,” in its original, post-OMNI form. I have changed not a word, but I have highlighted the major errors and issues of the type I’ve talked about in this series of posts. I’ve given each a color code as follows:

  • Telling, not showing
  • Clunky phrasing/naming names
  • Exposition
  • Bad metaphors/similes/adjectives
  • Wiggle words
  • Echoes

Then, I’ll present a rewritten version where I’ll fix them and (possibly) some of the larger, structural problems the story has.

Ready?

 

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The View from Here: EchoEchoEcho

Posted in Writing, tagged , , , , on 18 Feb 2013| 1 Comment »

Stack of BooksThis is the last specific topic I’m going to post in this series on common mistakes that plague new/untrained writers. But, I’ve decided that the final post is gong to be an experiment. I’m going to take an old trunk story and post it here, warts and all, highlighting the errors I’ve been complaining about here. Then I’m going to edit it, rewriting it to see how much better it might be. Then, you can be the judge of whether or not my advice given here is of any value.

But that’s later. For today, I’ll lay out my last gripes about unpolished writing: repetition, assonance, and alliteration. Like last time, these are hard to find in editing, and not something I can spot by scanning a work. But I find that if I keep my “ear” open as I read, I’ll hear them.

By “repetition,” I mean the re-use of a specific word in close proximity. Naturally, I have to re-use words, but most words don’t cause a problem because they’re so common. We’re accustomed to their being repeated over and over within a paragraph or even within a sentence. It’s the unusual words that, when repeated, cause a problem, and the more unusual the word, the more it sticks in the reader’s mind. Editors I’ve worked with call this an “echo,” and I’ve had “echoes” called out chapters away from each other.

Example: If I use the word “diaphanous” in Chapter 1, and then again in Chapter 2, you’ll remember it. You’ll probably remember it if I use it in Chapter 10. If I use the words “bifurcate” or “spavined” more than once in the entire book, you’ll remember it. But even common words, when used in close juxtaposition, can create a problem of “echoes.” (more…)

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